What I want you to know about Human Trafficking

Lots of people tend to see people who are being trafficked as less worthy, less dignity, etc. But you know what they say about assuming. I didn’t wake up one day as a little girl and say "Hey, when I am an adult, I’d really like to sell my body for money." Nope! I wanted to be an astronaut. Clearly that didn’t happen. It was a process, one that involved my mental health decline, and an addiction rapidly increasing. I didn’t start with a pimp, I started solo. My girls thought I was next level, my boys (dealers) loved me. At first, the money was going to rent, food and important things. Then, they only changed hands from trick to me. Me to dealer, then up my nose. Then came the heavy stuff.

I was tired of having to track down dealers and wait, while scheduling tricks. So, when one of my boys said he would run a phone for me, pay for a hotel, get my nails and hair done and ensure I’d always have drugs, I was all over that. We left for Toronto the next day, and he made good on all his promises, except my money was paying for it. We would go back to my hometown and he would find a reason not to give me my cut. He would pay me in drugs, but I still kept working for him. He used my addiction to his benefits. I was afraid of him, and he knew it. This continued until he did a stint in jail. During this time, a friend of mine suggested going back to Toronto and laying low. Within a week, it was back to the same thing. We stayed in Toronto, stayed in hotels, got involved with gangs, etc.

During all of this, I was unaware I was being trafficked. I had a "Romeo" Pimp. The "Boyfriend" Pimp. "Gorilla" Pimps. They always seemed to have my best interests in mind, expect for when I wasn’t working, then there were verbal and physical fights. Drugs were taken away and I wasn’t allowed to sleep.

Human trafficking affects men and women. Traffickers have often been groomed or forced into that life as well. Raising awareness is so essential. Helping affected communities is something that can help combat human trafficking. Rather than convicting and jailing the perpetrators and victims of human trafficking, we should provide education, life skills and ways to make a positive change within the people who turn to human trafficking as a source of income, drugs, and escape. 

Awareness brings change.

Written by Athena, participant in Restorations’ Peer Support Program.

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Athena makes references to different types of pimps in this post. For more information about Romeo and Gorilla pimps, you can see this blog post written by a Survivor who writes for Safe Hope Home.

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Note: Restorations recognizes the importance of financially compensating survivors for their time, energy, and expertise and, as such, we financially compensate all survivors who contribute written pieces for the blog. We strongly believe in the necessity of financial compensation for this work, and we urge other organizations who request survivors to speak, write, or consult for their organization to do likewise for the following reasons:

1. to demonstrate a commitment to honour and respect survivors’ time, energy, and expertise;

2. to demonstrate an appreciation for the emotional, mental, and physical energy necessary to share their experiences with us in order to benefit others;

3. and to demonstrate a commitment to developing the economic independence of survivors.

What "Home" Means To Me

Home means more to me than just a place or location; home is more of a feeling. Home is a place you grow up sometimes wanting to leave, but when you grow old you often want to go back to. A home is where I played, laughed, cried, learned and valued small moments that I hold so dearly. For some, despite the hardships, home pushed us to be more than just what our tough circumstances made of us and turned us into resilient women living our truth.

A home is more than four walls and a roof over our head; it is an environment. It's the welcoming emotion that greets us at the entrance, similar to how Restorations greeted me when I was too afraid to take the first step into this community. 

A home should be filled with people who love, support, and encourage you in the midst of chaos, people you can rely on when times get tough. A home can be made up of life's experiences, teachable moments, and the people around you. I believe that family is a relative concept that is defined by our interactions with one another rather than by blood. 

A house is defined as a structure for residential purposes. Home is where the heart is, where you’re surrounded by those who bring warmth when things get cold. And as I continue on my path of healing and self growth, I've met some incredible people, a community that accepts, supports, inspires, and leaves me feeling safe. This group of people is a community that I can call home, who motivate me to be the best version of myself. A place that has made a huge significance in my life and led me to meet people along the way who I will never forget. This is Home.

Written by Adalia.

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Note: Restorations recognizes the importance of financially compensating survivors for their time, energy, and expertise and, as such, we financially compensate all survivors who contribute written pieces for the blog. We strongly believe in the necessity of financial compensation for this work, and we urge other organizations who request survivors to speak, write, or consult for their organization to do likewise for the following reasons:

1. to demonstrate a commitment to honour and respect survivors’ time, energy, and expertise;

2. to demonstrate an appreciation for the emotional, mental, and physical energy necessary to share their experiences with us in order to benefit others;

3. and to demonstrate a commitment to developing the economic independence of survivors.

What “Peer Support” Means To Me

Peer support is a group of people who share something in common coming together to support one another through the ups and downs they may be facing in their life. We all come from different backgrounds, different ages and walks of life. We walked our own journeys and sometimes that left us feeling down, alone, misunderstood and defeated. But then unfortunate circumstances bring together a group of people to heal, learn, grow and remember what happened in our past doesn’t define us. We’ll turn pain into power because we’re strong and resilient to come this far. 

Peer support can feel like a friendship or even family, a family you didn’t know you had or even needed. Peer support doesn’t mean a group of friends supporting one another but a group of individuals who come together and may even find friendship along the way. Who says you can’t find a little sunshine after the rain?

Peer support means a safe place where you aren’t forced to do anything you don’t want to do. You don’t have to feel alone, you don’t have to be alone, you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be other than yourself. Just coming as you are, socialize and have fun with others in the group. Peer support means having support in your daily life. You can have a very important meeting ahead of you that makes you feel anxious, and you’ll have the supports you need in order to be prepared, confident and ready to accomplish anything life throws your way.

You don’t have to talk about your problems - if you had a bad day and need to vent, you can vent away without judgement. Had a rough week? Peer support is there to turn your frown upside down, helping put things into perspective to be able to tackle life with more strength than you had before. Peer support is something I never knew I needed, something that has changed my life for the better after all I’ve been through. I still struggle to overcome certain obstacles, but I have peer support to make me feel accepted, feel good that I have a group I can turn to, and be myself.

We walk down different paths in life but we meet people along this journey; that doesn’t happen by chance, but happens for a reason. We may not know the reason, but the one thing I do know is that I’m safe, I’m strong, I’m better than I was yesterday thanks to having peer support.

Written by “Anonymous,” a peer participant in our Survivor-Led Peer Programming.

You can learn more about our Peer Program here.

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Note: Restorations recognizes the importance of financially compensating survivors for their time, energy, and expertise and, as such, we financially compensate all survivors who contribute written pieces for the blog. We strongly believe in the necessity of financial compensation for this work, and we urge other organizations who request survivors to speak, write, or consult for their organization to do likewise for the following reasons:

1. to demonstrate a commitment to honour and respect survivors’ time, energy, and expertise;

2. to demonstrate an appreciation for the emotional, mental, and physical energy necessary to share their experiences with us in order to benefit others;

3. and to demonstrate a commitment to developing the economic independence of survivors.

A fun night in the kitchen!

Last night, our Peer Support Group participated in a cooking night.

Facilitated by one of the peer participants, she created the recipe and produced a recipe card and an ingredient list. (Scroll down for the recipe!)

With thanks to 4:ONE who provided grocery gift cards, each participant purchased groceries and joined together via Zoom to cook the meal and eat "together" afterwards.

“It was an amazing night for so many reasons! We were able to acknowledge and learn from a strength of a fellow peer.

Many of the participants have not been going into grocery stores because of Covid. Some of them were challenged to overcome anxieties of going into a store and asking for help finding certain ingredients. This gave a wonderful opportunity for participants to encourage each other in this process. Because of the ongoing isolation of Covid, it was a great evening to cook and share a meal together.”

Michelle, Peer Advocate

Thank you, Quintina, for sharing your recipe with us!

Quintina’s Chicken Vegetable Stir-Fry

Prep Time: 30 Minutes
Cook Time: 30 Minutes

INGREDIENTS

• 1lb chicken breast (cubed)

• 1 cup chicken broth

• ⅓ soya sauce

• 1 cup teriyaki sauce

• 2 tbsp salt

• 2 tbsp pepper

• 2 tbsp garlic powder

• 1lb broccoli

• 1 white onion

• 8oz mushrooms

• 2 carrots

• 4 tbsp sesame oil

• 250g bean sprouts

• 1tbsp ginger

• ¼ flour 

EQUIPMENT REQUIRED

• frying pan

• sauce pot

• tablespoons

• spatula

• knife

• cutting board

• peeler

• 2 bowls

• measuring cup

• stove top

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS

Step 1: In a large pan on medium-high heat, add enough oil to cover the base of the pan. Once the oil is hot, add chicken, season with salt and pepper sauté until cooked through and browned. Remove cooked chicken from pan and set aside.

Step 2: In the same pan, add oil to cover the base of the pan and add sauté mushrooms. When the mushrooms start to soften, add broccoli florets, white onion, bean sprouts and carrots.

Step 3: In a sauce pot add in chicken broth, soya sauce, teriyaki sauce, crushed ginger, flour and garlic powder.

Step 4: Combine the sauce with the chicken and vegetables and mix thoroughly.

ENJOY!

A few things I am learning about Myself, Community, and The World during COVID-19: Part 3 “The World”

This is a three part blog series from Survivor “Anonymous.” In this series, Anonymous shares her reflections on what she is learning about herself, her community, and her world during this season of living through COVD-19 and a global pandemic. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

WHAT I AM LEARNING ABOUT THE WORLD.

The world can be dark and heavy, and it can also provide messages of growth. At the beginning of COVID, I felt overwhelmed by the world. I couldn't quite digest the sheer number of humans who were hurting as they fearfully clung to whatever safety they had to ride the virus out. Hyper-focused on the pandemic and its tragedy, I was only able to feed my own fear and harmful worldviews. What I have learned, however, is that if I adjust my attention, I can find evidence of the still painful, but powerful and humbling world events that are happening simultaneously. An example of this is that we are currently witnessing the globalization of community care and various social justice movements: the mobilization of individuals and resources on a scale that I have never witnessed before. 

We all have a part to play, regardless of our stories, in strengthening awareness and hope. As I write this entry and reflect on what is going on in the world, it would be ignorant to not call attention to the fact that racially oppressed communities are disproportionally experiencing the adverse effects of COVID. It is further paramount that I acknowledge that the privilege that I hold as a white person has contributed to the supports that I have had access to - as it has underpinned society's faith in my “redeemability.”

When thinking about how COVID affects survivors, time should be spent considering how survivors of colour, those living with disabilities, have non-heteronormative sexualities and/or gender non-conforming identities may be experiencing the impact of COVID. Those whose identities exist at the intersections of marginalization experience reduced access to financial supports, secure housing, adequate health care and community resources. It is equally important to then ask ourselves how we can show up with a posture of ally-ship, actively working to reduce the additional barriers survivors face both directly and in our homes, workplaces, and institutions. 

If you want to learn more about effective ally-ship check out this resource: https://guidetoallyship.com/

As I close this reflection series, I have learned that everything is interconnected: histories are connected to current events, and grief can trigger powerlessness, but reminders of powerlessness do not have to leave me helpless. I have learned that I need to be kinder to myself and continue to root in fruitful relationships. I have also learned that communities will panic together, but given the nudge can also heal together. Similarly, the world can be both scary and beautiful, and I can challenge myself to bend towards messages and movements of hope. 

I have learned that I need to be kinder to myself and continue to root in fruitful relationships.

I will leave you with this: perhaps the world needed something to force us to slow down so that it could make space for what matters: the health of our earth, bodies, relationships, and communities. Perhaps we were asked to slow down so that we may learn to love ourselves and each other better, encouraging us to show up for each other in meaningful and effective ways as we all experience this pandemic differently.

Thank you kindly for taking the time to read these posts.

Sincerely, 
Anonymous

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Note: Restorations recognizes the importance of financially compensating survivors for their time, energy, and expertise and, as such, we financially compensate all survivors who contribute written pieces for the blog. We strongly believe in the necessity of financial compensation for this work, and we urge other organizations who request survivors to speak, write, or consult for their organization to do likewise for the following reasons:

1. to demonstrate a commitment to honour and respect survivors’ time, energy, and expertise;

2. to demonstrate an appreciation for the emotional, mental, and physical energy necessary to share their experiences with us in order to benefit others;

3. and to demonstrate a commitment to developing the economic independence of survivors.

A few things I am learning about Myself, Community, and The World during COVID-19: Part 2

This is a three part blog series from Survivor “Anonymous.” In this series, Anonymous shares her reflections on what she is learning about herself, her community, and her world during this season of living through COVD-19 and a global pandemic. You can read Part 1 here.

WHAT I AM LEARNING ABOUT COMMUNITY.

Grief is universal, grief has memory, and grief is intersectional: COVID has brought with it grief for many individuals in my community. This pandemic has brought with it not only death, but also the loss of resources, security, connection and personal agency. It can further be compounded by the previous experiences and traumas individuals and groups have faced, and I have learned that my community as one organism can be fearful and cruel but also kind and powerful. 

As COVID news was amplified, I saw individuals pushing themselves to the front of crowds to get groceries before others had the opportunity. I heard about individuals taking toilet paper out of other carts and intentionally blocking others from products. I heard discriminatory remarks and accounts of individuals preventing differently-abled humans from accessing resources that are crucial to their survival. 

Conversely, I saw people learning how to love each other through social distancing and virtual platforms. Most reassuringly, I have witnessed a collective resiliency (there is that word again), an imperfect but meaningful shift from individualistic survival and into a place of coming together amidst the chaos to adapt and support each other.  

I have witnessed a collective resiliency (there is that word again), an imperfect but meaningful shift from individualistic survival and into a place of coming together amidst the chaos to adapt and support each other.  

Access to a community is a key component to getting through this whole COVID thing. While we all may share similarities in physical experiences, our stories and their impacts are unique and profoundly nuanced, and thus the experience of COVID will also be unique. I find myself in a privileged place where I have access to post-secondary education, support from the government, and access to therapy, and I know that this is not the case for every survivor. Some of us are struggling financially, some of us are entirely isolated, some of us have too much time to think (too much time to get stuck in memories), and some of us don't have safe outlets for connection. Some of us are doing okay, and some of us need extra kindness and support. Some of us have the ability to see further than the direct impacts of COVID, and others have the ability to identify the good things that may be coming in the future because of it. These differences are precisely why communities are relevant – they offer critical hope by allowing us to arrive at the table (even the virtual one) exactly as we are and providing not only an outlet but the sharing of the collective burden. It is when the person with hope for the future says: "You don't need to carry this worry about how things will turn out - all you need to focus on is the next right thing – and today I will hold the hope that we are moving in the right direction for you." And when that hopeful person becomes tired or doubtful, someone else then offers to hold hope for a while.

Some of us are doing okay, and some of us need extra kindness and support.

Communities have the potential to allow us to release stress and fear as well as to teach us how to hold hope for others. A group of strong and powerful women, other survivors - some of whom I met at a safe-house eight years ago - are an example of this. We laugh, we read books, watch movies, unpack things that are going on in our lives and then we laugh again. The simple act of interacting with individuals who share similar experiences - those who don't need to imagine what it must have been like, those who can see me as a human outside of those experiences - provides relief.***

Thank you kindly for taking the time to read these posts.

Sincerely, 
Anonymous

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***This is in reference to Restorations’ Peer Support Group. You can read more about our activities with survivors here.

Check back tomorrow for the next part of this reflection, “What I am learning about the world.”

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Note: Restorations recognizes the importance of financially compensating survivors for their time, energy, and expertise and, as such, we financially compensate all survivors who contribute written pieces for the blog. We strongly believe in the necessity of financial compensation for this work, and we urge other organizations who request survivors to speak, write, or consult for their organization to do likewise for the following reasons:

1. to demonstrate a commitment to honour and respect survivors’ time, energy, and expertise;

2. to demonstrate an appreciation for the emotional, mental, and physical energy necessary to share their experiences with us in order to benefit others;

3. and to demonstrate a commitment to developing the economic independence of survivors.

A few things I am learning about Myself, Community, and The World during COVID-19: Part 1 "Myself"

This is a three part blog series from Survivor “Anonymous.” In this series, Anonymous shares her reflections on what she is learning about herself, her community, and her world during this season of living through COVD-19 and a global pandemic.

WHAT I AM LEARNING ABOUT MYSELF

I have been carrying a feeling of helplessness that runs deeper than COVID-19. COVID-19 has undoubtedly shaken up many of our lives. While my experience of this pandemic is entirely different than my experience being exploited by my trafficker, I am learning, through therapy, that my body can pick up on familiarities that my cognitive brain doesn't always make space for. One thing that has helped me up until this point has been my ability to use cognitive reasoning to “think my way to a balanced state,” and while that can be effective for many situations, it failed to bring comfort when COVID isolations started. On the one hand, I knew that I was safe and that I had everything I needed, but on the other, I felt as though something was still incredibly wrong. I shared with my therapist that I could not articulate the feeling of wrongness, which prompted her to illuminate the power of the body. Over this time, I have realized that the reason that I felt uneasy as COVID unfolded is that it brings a sense of powerlessness that is not a new feeling in my body. While the level of powerlessness I experience is not the same as when I was exploited, situations that activate a similar sense of helplessness can still be enough to trigger the discomfort I felt before.

Over this time, I have realized that the reason that I felt uneasy as COVID unfolded is that it brings a sense of powerlessness that is not a new feeling in my body.

My journey to self-acceptance involves actively learning to value myself exactly as I am regardless of where I have been. The past three months have woven into a season of trying to listen to my body and quiet my inner critic; it is both a season of movement and a season of grief: grieving change, connection and a type of freedom. I have always carried this belief that in order to be “normal” or successful, I needed to put my experiences into a box and hide them in a place that no one (including myself) would be able to find. It has been nine years since I was ready to leave my trafficker, and eight since I have been able to begin carving out a new life outside of his presence. My attempts at detaching from my experiences have been reinforced by the notion that “I should be over it by now.” This season has illuminated how fully I have fallen into a mind-frame aligned with the societal stigma surrounding my story. I have repeated a personal mantra that suggests that I can never “actually” be worthy of the life I aspire to - because of my inability to erase what has caused me to be permanently “damaged.” As I invited myself into reflection and unpacking of my self-assigned eternal unworthiness, the incongruency between how I see myself and others became apparent. I believe that that everyone is worthy of love, support, compassion and that their inherent worth is entirely separate from their actions or experiences. And even while I believe this, I work to apply this to every human being except myself. 

I believe that that everyone is worthy of love, support, compassion and that their inherent worth is entirely separate from their actions or experiences. And even while I believe this, I work to apply this to every human being except myself.  

This awareness has allowed COVID isolation to challenge me to ask myself how it is that I can reframe this narrative and welcome the trafficking part of my story into my life, not in a way that festers and continues to take up all of my resources, but in a way that encourages it to become a piece of my foundation – providing me with (healthily adapted) strengths and skills for future endeavours. This challenge is significant because the reality is that there won't be "an over it," not entirely; there will be seasons where my experiences are highly manageable and other seasons that will be a lot harder to hold, especially when trauma can be reignited by what is going on in the world, whether that is something like COVID or something like witnessing an accident. 

My takeaway is that I can choose to allow my past to swallow me whole, or I can learn to interact with it in such a way that places me at the center of my experience with power and agency. I am learning to talk about it a bit more when I have nightmares or feel a trigger as we walk through places that feel unsafe. I am learning to accept that inviting others in contributes to resilience. 

My takeaway is that I can choose to allow my past to swallow me whole, or I can learn to interact with it in such a way that places me at the center of my experience with power and agency.

A little food for thought: I currently am working through my Bachelor of Social Work, and I was met with a new approach to understanding resilience – a term those close to me often choose to 'compliment' me with. In a course, it was suggested that resiliency shouldn't be the only goal of recovery, but a key for understanding more about a survivor's journey. The problem lies behind what is forcing individuals to be resilient; resiliency isn't as much a gift as it is a full-time, life-long job. When considering and encouraging resiliency, we need also to allow space for resiliency to be both sad and celebrated, for the experience of injustice to be valid, and to be witnessed so that that injustice can be harnessed and interacted with in such a way that the individual may use it as their foundation - on their own terms.

Thank you kindly for taking the time to read these posts.

Sincerely, 
Anonymous

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Check back tomorrow for the next part of this reflection, “What I am learning about community.”

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Note: Restorations recognizes the importance of financially compensating survivors for their time, energy, and expertise and, as such, we financially compensate all survivors who contribute written pieces for the blog. We strongly believe in the necessity of financial compensation for this work, and we urge other organizations who request survivors to speak, write, or consult for their organization to do likewise for the following reasons:

1. to demonstrate a commitment to honour and respect survivors’ time, energy, and expertise;

2. to demonstrate an appreciation for the emotional, mental, and physical energy necessary to share their experiences with us in order to benefit others;

3. and to demonstrate a commitment to developing the economic independence of survivors.